Thursday, February 23, 2006

While in DC...Day One...

Sorry y’all, but first things first.

My flight to DC...via Detroit *might* have been the crazy flight I’ve ever been on.

True, I’m not some jet-setting celebrity of the status of...shall we say, Paris Hilton?...however, I have been on a plane or two in my life. (AKA, twelve flights in the last month)

On this flight, I’d have to say, the pilot was nuts. Seriously, MIGHT have been a little crazy. The guy—who for ever will be known as CFG...(crazy fly guy)...was on the intercom for AT LEAST 80% of the flight. More than that, he refused to release the flight attendants...that’s right, I didn’t even get to have the beverage service. Que pasa? Not even a tea or coffee? That’s correct my friends...the dude actually said, “I’m not going to release the stewardesses—flight attendants—because of the turbulence.” Also, I MIGHT have been given 10 minutes to potty. Fine, whatever, it doesn’t take me ten minutes to pee. HOWEVER...maybe the flight attendant strapped into her jump seat bitching at me to please, “Hurry,” wasn’t entirely necessary. Honestly, what am I going to do in the lavatory? Throw a party?

I think not.

Okay guys, let me lay the scene for you. YYZ, also known as Toronto International Pearson Airport( ), may have had some weather issues THE SECOND we flew out. I definitely was on the plane for 40 minutes while we “deiced.” Fine, whatever it happens. What does not the pilot goes on a power trip and doesn’t release the flight attendants. Seriously, dude, they are well aware of the issues with flying as am I. Now effing bring me my drink, please and thank you. Don’t know if you know...but it’s part of the service...?

Don’t worry, y’all a well—but strongly—worded letter is being composed tomorrow. Also...again a direct quote here from CFG, “Okay folks, we are going to be a little late into’s good to remember the’s better to be a little late for a flight and arrive later, then to be early and arrive into the next life.” I’m sorry...I do believe in the next life...but I am SURE there are people on this plane who do not, so how ‘bout you keep the religious connotation to yourself bucko? Southern Baptist? Maybe a little bit.

So finally I arrive...and I can’t fine Lauren. Not fun in my book, not fun at all. I call her cell, no dice. Seriously start to freak out when I see Steve...then her...while wandering around aimlessly. I rehash the flight...gush over Louis...and catch up on the general greatness of being around Lauren...Steve gets credit here because he’s clever, funny, and also is obsessed with curling. We play, “let’s make fun of the retardedness of the world,” and everything is great.

While walking back to Lauren’s place, Boston, called...asking if I was drunk...which...I clearly was not...just dragging a suitcase down from the Metro...out of shape much? Yeah, it’s sad, it’s fine. Whatever, I throw a fit. He countered with the totally understanding, “Yeah, I didn’t really think so, I just thought you sounded weird.”

Again with the kid knowing me as well as well I know myself.

I know this was short, but, remember y’all, it was only day one....more fun to come!

Quote of the Moment: “Any man, who doesn’t eat pussy, is a pussy. Shit, I did it again; what the fuck did I just say?”
Soundtrack of the Moment: MGFM’s February Mix CD
TV/Movie Quote : From Collateral:
Vincent: Okay, look, here's the deal. Man, you were gonna drive me around tonight, never be the wiser, but El Gordo got in front of a window, did his high dive, we're into Plan B. Still breathing? Now we gotta make the best of it, improvise, adapt to the environment, Darwin, shit happens, I Ching, whatever man, we gotta roll with it.
Max: I Ching? What are you talking about, man? You threw a man out of a window.
Vincent: I didn't throw him. He *fell*
Max: Well what did he do to you?
Vincent: What?
Max: What did he do to *you*?
Vincent: Nothing. I only met him tonight.
Max: You just met him once and you killed him like that?
Vincent: What? I should only kill people after I get to know them?

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