Wednesday, August 16, 2006

No, I’M Bringing Sexy Back!

Let this rant begin with the disclosure that, yes, I’m aware JT & Timberland brought SexyBack first. Even so, I’m totally doing it better. Really.

My goal this week—so far, anyways—has been to bring myself back to the point where I really don’t go anywhere unless I’m “done”, sotospeak. That means the hair is done (and down), the clothes create an actual outfit (no more, “Um, can I get away with wearing this see-through-white Hanes tank with a black bra if I keep my hoodie on?”), and...Glory be!...there’s makeup involved.

Now at first, there were doubters. Confusion. Utter denial. A total lack of interest.

No longer, my friends! People are sitting up and taking notice. I mean, Monday Lauren told me, “You ain’t no hag.” So sweet, I almost cried. :p

Lately, it’s been more a mix of, “Why are you all done up?” and, “Wow, you look hot,” than anything else. I actually got a, “you’re beautiful,” today...which would have been awesome if it wasn’t from someone so creepy. And if it didn't imediately get that James Blunt song stuck in my head.

See? I AM bringing sexy back!

Right, so not sure if all of you us Gmail or not, but we’re going to assume, for the moment, that everyone does. Right, fine. WTF is up with all the SPAM recipes up in there? Seriously, ew!
Spam Quiche? Spam Swiss Pie? Savory Spam Crescents? Ew! There’s even the Star Wars inspired Spam Imperial Tortilla Sandwiches!

Yelck! Can we please stop with those. I’ve never even eaten Spam and the entire idea freaks me out. some of you are aware...I’m a slight reality TV junkie. Oh, not those dumb, eat-bugs-or-build houses-or-survive-on-an-island-reality-shows...more like, say, the follow-people-around-in-their-daily-lives type shows.
The Real World / Newlyweds / The Ashlee Simpson Show / Diary of... / Project Runway type shows. You give me a Real World Marathon and I am on the couch for the entire day.

This could also explain my obsession with
Animal Planet. Just a thought.

Anyways, ever since Canada *FINALLY* got MTV, I’ve been able to catch up on all the craziness I’ve missed in the last year-or-so. Laguna Beach! The Hills! Cheyenne!

Right...Clearly 2nd season of Laguna has so far been my favorite, but that’s only because it totally reminded me of my high school experience...well, minus all the goddamn plastic cups. Seriously guys? You couldn’t hide the fact that you were drinking with anything other then red, white, and blue KEG cups?!?!?

This was something that I found mildly amusing, until...

I started watching The Hills. Given, I can’t watch it if I’m not doing something else (or usually several other things at once...seriously, is Lauren the most bland person on the face of the planet??), but it’s suddenly occurring to me that these kids seem fairly young to be at LAX. The 21 & up only club certainly isn’t..only 21&up that is...if you’ve got MTV following you around. That, though, doesn’t bother me as much as when they’re in restaurants...I mean, don’t liquor laws apply to everyone? Even if you have a television show following you around? Pretty sure that it makes more sense to publicly serve alcohol to minors if they’re not being followed around by a TV crew. But, whatever, what do I know?

I’ve also recently reestablished my love of
TwoP(Television without Pity). Those reviewers are so darn funny, you don’t even have to know the show to find the humor. Take this jewel: “It disturbs me how much more I like the aliens than the people in this show. Why can't everyone go to a party on their planet on Friday night instead?” Classic, I tell you! If Snarkasim is your thing...and holy mother of god why are you reading this if it’s not...then TwoP is for you!

That is all. No more rants, no more website promotions.

Until next time, boys and girls!

Quote of the Moment: “You know, though, those stained glass windows in the hospital chapel sure do give off some flattering lighting. Maybe I'll start going to church.”
Soundtrack of the Moment: SexyBack, Justin Timberlake ft Timberland

TV/Movie Quote: From House M.D., [charging into his boss' office] “I need a bone saw!”

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