Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Evening with Dad…

There’s this point…and I really feel it’s a fundamental point in your life when you look at your parents, and go…“Huh. You really didn’t have any clue.”

Now, I know you’re thinking the other way…you know, when you look at your parents and think how right they were about a lot of things…and, of course, I’ve had those moments as well…

One of the most…well common misconceptions about me is that I’m confidant.

Ha…and another ha, for good measure. I’m collected, not confidant…HUGE difference. I’m way better than I used to be…but…I donno it was really strange, sitting there listening to my Dad talk about the way I was in high school and college…

I’m in the booth thinking…is he talking about me?

Then something occurred to me…the same sort of something that hit me in Vegas…but I’ll get to that in a second…This isn’t my Dad being wrong about me…this is how he sees me…confident, successful, strong, caring, and helpful. How f**king flattering is that? I mean, honestly, my Dad is not only proud of me, but impressed by me…amazing.

Now, about the whole light bulb flash in Vegas…so, for pretty much my whole life I’ve wanted to do this acting thing. My parents have been…lukewarm in their support of my efforts. Sometimes…like when I get something or they can watch me on TV…energy is high and happy…Other times…like when I’m working on my website or working out a lot because I’m not fitting the info on my résumé…they are…uh…well, we talk about other things. More often then not, I get, “I just don’t want that life for you,” or “See, another celebrity getting harassed by those awful photographers; why would you ever want to live like that?” I hear only the negative…it’s my own problem…but when have I ever claimed to not have issues? So it was sort of funny when I sat on my window seat in Vegas, typing out my latest fiction on my laptop, and realized what, exactly it was they were saying. It’s pretty damn cool that my parents think I’m good/lucky/pretty/talented enough to be the type of actor that gets harassed by paparazzi.


So…I did something I honestly never thought I’d do yesterday…I sent a copy of one of my fictions to Lauren. It’s unfinished…about a third done (approx. 250pgs)…and in need of some editing…Lauren offered and I…hesitated. Sure, I’ve gotten some great feedback from nonpartisan (you know what I mean) people…but I know Lauren…I really respect her and care about what she thinks…what if she doesn’t like it? In the question I found my answer…sure, I trust her to be honest with me and tell me if she’s not too keen on it…but she’s going to put it in a way that doesn’t crush me. “Maybe you could switch this with that…” “You know, if you…” and so on…so last night…wow, this morning, at 2am…I shot it out over Gmail. I tricked myself, saying that she’d really seemed to want to see it, and that could be a sort of birthday present (Oh, yeah, happy birthday, again, Lauren). I’ll make her write a review and post it here…maybe…if I’m highly intoxicated.

I’d get into genetics, but let’s face facts, you crazy kids have better things to do today. So off I sign.

Love ya’ll! =D

Quote of the Moment: “You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.”
Soundtrack of the Moment: Nada…a rare moment of silence.
Movie/TV Quote: From The Princess Bride, “Life IS pain, princess…anyone who says differently is selling something.”


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