Monday, October 16, 2006

Post-Op Blog

Clearly, I'm alive.

The surgery itself was...interesting. First of all, of course, I couldn't really sleep the night before the surgery. I was up around 3-4ish and ended up watching this documentary on comic books and what they mean/have contributed to society.

Yeah, I know, I’m cool.

Ironically I was extremely congested and very sneeze-y at this time. I carried Kleenex around with me like a young mother in church. Seriously, it was kinda funny.

Anyways, I head to the hospital around six AM to check-in and what not. It wasn't the best situation, but it wasn't the worst. I know from work that the Hospital is literally falling down around the edges, so I'm not surprised by the amount of it that's closed off "for construction."

What is a little surprising is the one-size-fits-all "gown" and robe. Btw, can we please discuss how a cotton, hospital body covering is so not a gown? Right, anyways, the one-size-fits-all is apparently not made for TNF's. Whatever, I look like I'm wearing oversized pillowcases.

So I'm wearing my pillowcases, and I get told I'm going to have to get my IV put in now...they give you the saline/vitamin mix over an hour before your surgery. I wish I could express how bad of an idea I knew that was, but, on the upside, at least I won’t be hungry any more. Anyways, I get called over to get my needle put in, and the chick “yells” at me for still having my bra on. Look, underwear to me IS a bra, so when I was told I could keep my underwear, I did.

Apparently not.

Whatever, she tells me to go over to the “changing rooms” and take it off. I kinda roll my eyes at her and pull my bra off under my clothes. She makes some flippant comment and I say, “Look, after six years of dance, it’s not something I even have to think about.” Right, well, she thinks I’m talking stripping…not ballet, so I clarify. As if to make amends for her assumptions about me, she starts to tell me about what tattoos meant “back in her day.” It’s a conversation that might have been more interesting to me had a two-inch plastic catheter not also been shoved into the vein in my hand.


I spend the next twenty minutes or so fighting vertigo and tunnel vision…the cold sweats…yep, the whole nine yards… I probably would have just sat there for the next hour or so doing the same thing…but an observant nurse caught sight of me and asked if I was okay. Because she asked, I actually answered honestly. Next thing I know, I’m laying on a gurney, cool washcloths on my neck/forehead, and my own personal intern resting by my side.

The intern is, of course, male. Teehee. Anyways, he tells me about his own tonsil surgery in Scotland, and just generally talks to help keep my mind off things. He disappears, but later finds me while I’m waiting outside of my OR, and we discuss Grey’s Anatomy and how important HS football is in the South.

Shortly thereafter I’m on the table and going under…

I wake up…and can breathe. For possibly the first time in my entire life, I take a breath and feel nothing in my face. Amazing. I’m so excited about this I literally scream out in the hallway, “THANK YOU DOCTOR TATUM.” That would be the last time I did any screaming for a long time.

They wheel me into the recovery room, and I’m placed next to the boy who was in the OR right before me. He’s making the standard “I’m in pain” noises…and I kind of want to tell him to stop bitching. Because, clearly, if you’ve just had surgery on your throat/face, talking might not be the smartest thing for you to do. Also, this reiterates my belief that boys are wimps and girls kick ass in the pain department. The nurses dose me and him at the same time, but I don’t think they gave me the morphine they gave him…because I wasn’t all loopy and crazy…but who knows?

Recovery was…funny really. There was as little talking as possible…which is hilarious to anyone who knows me. Lot’s of sleeping and “watching” TV. They messed up my tongue while intubating me, so I’m fairly confidante that I have an idea what it feels like to get your tongue pierced. I started eating as soon as I could and stopped taking the Codeine on the third or fourth day. All in all, the whole thing was rather easy.

The surgery, I would say, was a success. I still have the bruise on my hand where the IV was put in four weeks ago...but between the way I bruise and the way I cannot stand IV's, I figured that's really just to be expected. Beyond the expected being about to breath better and all the rest, I’m really feeling like my energy is back up. I’ve also been told that my voice is “less raspy” whatever that means…and my face looks skinnier/longer. Well, a girl can’t complain about that, now can she?

In other news…

Saw The Queen last Friday. I wish I could express the greatness of this movie…but it’s just too damn hard to explain. Go see it, you’ll understand what I mean. Oh, but I will talk about Helen Mirren’s phenomenal performance as the queen. The lady is in a league of her own when it comes to acting. For most of the movie, she’s wearing a preverbal mask of emotional detachment…and yet you know exactly what she’s thinking…the eyes…it’s all there, behind her eyes. Gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.

Also caught a matinee of The Departed. Clearly, this was a completely different type of movie, but I also really enjoyed it. Here as well the acting was just awesome. I’d like to see a nod for Dicaprio and Sheen respectively. Few people seem to realize that this is a remake of the 2002 Chinese film Infernal Affairs, but it’s almost a dead-on copy.

Boo, Mr. Scorsese, Boo.

Beside some weird and IMHO too quick cuts, there’s nothing really wrong with the movie. It won’t—or at least, shouldn’t—win any best picture nods, but it’s entertaining and a great vehicle for it’s stars. The flick itself is set in Boston…which brought up a lot of weird memories for me…especially how the guys all talked…dropping their ‘r’s and what not. There was also an Oxycotton issue…yeah, that and a big coke scene had me covering my eyes.

Whatever, we all know I have issues.

All I can say is these two flicks whet my appetite for the “award worthy” flicks the studios will be pumping out from now until Christmas. Sooooo excited…

LOL…until then, I suppose…

Quote of the Moment: "Oh, that's right...I forget, you're hott. Why would you have to pay for drinks?"
Soundtrack of the Moment: Dropkick Murphys, "I'm Shipping Up to Boston"
TV/Movie Quote: From The Queen: Queen Elizabeth II [to Tony Blair, regarding the British public's sudden distrust and dislike]: "One day, quite suddenly and without warning, the same thing will happen to you."

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