Crush Me

Dude, do you remember when you were in high school, and the boy you really didn’t know but totally thought was hot walked by and all your friends kinda elbowed you and mass giggling ensued? Yeah, neither do I. I didn’t date high school boys until my very last year…and even then it was a boy—singular. Before that I played with a bunch of guys waaaay to old for me—and by played, please realize that I’m not talking anything sexual here—and just basically did the single thing.

It was more a way to protect myself than an actual game plan. I mean, who would actually wan…you know what? Let’s not open that door tonight. Whatever, so I basically just rolled with myself for a while until I settled down for four years with my singular guy.

I guess I’m making up for lost time now. Cue the giggly, nervous, high school style crush. On someone totally inappropriate and who breaks at least three of my top five rules. Oh…should we go over the rules? Let’s not! Let’s just say that “never mix business with pleasure” is super high on the list.

Regardless, there’s this guy (you will know him as “the pirate”) that I’ve kinda had my eye on for awhile. I mean, the first time I saw him, I literally remember thinking to myself, “Since when do we hire hot guys?” This was back…oh…back in the days when I was just starting to hang out with Boston. Right, so awhile.

Anyways, sometime this summer the two production facilities became one and the cute boy came complete with the rest of the lot. I noticed. Honestly there were days where going downstairs to run orders made my entire day. In the words of the fantastic Metalica’s Black Album: it’s “sad but true.”

Ever since MPIC joined the crew, I’ve been actually—heaven forbid—trying to converse with the guy. Nothing more crazy than hello’s and good mornings—and one happy Halloween. Everyone knows…like EVERYONE. The only guy we have in my department (who is currently the person who runs orders down to the floor) even became my NPIC (New Partner In Crime) today.

I was minding my own business (Literally, in this case. I was working on some quotes and a couple quick answers callers needed.) when NPIC calls me and says, “There’s a good chance.” I’m retarded, so I think/say, “Good chance at what?” He says the eight magic words, “I need some control damper cut-sheets pulled.”

Needless to say, I pull on my steal-toes and safety glasses and hall ass downstairs. I think my heart was skipping out double time. Seriously, was high school really like this for everyone?? I certainly hope not.

Anyways, I end up downstairs, hook up with (not like that) NPIC and go to see my boy. He makes eye contact with me and I sorta lose the ability to speak. It’s okay, because he seems to be in about the same frame of mind. Except I realize, about half-a-minute too late, that I’m the one who’s suppose to be talking. I turn into a girl who is both retarded and dumb. Super exciting.

Later on, I do the walk-through with MPIC. All our Pirates are gone…so…yeah, that sucks. We wander back together, and as par, I have my arm in hers. One of the (not pirate) guys runs up complaining he’s not between us…then hollers out at his co-worker. The co-worker is one of my “spies.”

He lets me know about this convo:

Spy: So you know one of the girls upstairs has her eye on you?
Pirate: The red-head?
Spy: That’s her.
Pirate: I’m gonna have to talk to her…

Hehehehehehehehe…

To be continued…

Quote of the Moment: “I don’t remember you asking me if I could be used as the quote.”
Soundtrack of the Moment: Guns N’ Roses, Paradise City
TV/Movie Quote: Sixteen Candles: “That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else.”