Okay. I have loads to tell and I have no idea how to rein it all in, so this may be all jumbley and rambling and just generally a little all over the place and hard to follow.
So: fair warning, in advance.
First and foremost, I turned in my resignation at Nailor. It was a really, really hard thing for me to do…so much so that it’s taken me almost 2 years to finally make the decision stick. I’m still going to be there for awhile, probably for most—if not all—of the summer.
Already I feel myself calming down…as if a lot of the anxiety I’ve had building up inside of me has dissipated with “the end” looming near. As if—even though this next little while is not going to be easy—I now have the open opportunity of doing what I want to with my life, as opposed to following the cycle of needing money to do things…working for money…then not being able to do things because of work.
Of course, part of my anti-anxiety could be because of the fishies. :D
That’s right boys and girls, I’m currently keeping a planted tank at my house. (Planted just meaning that there are real, live plants growing in it as opposed to—you know—not.) I kinda have convinced myself that it’s a magical fish tank. No, seriously. Not only can I feel my heart physically slowing down awhile I’m staring at it; I also seem to lose huge gaps of time while doing so. I mean, it’ll be 7…then all of a sudden I look up at the clock and it’s almost 7:30. I feel like I’ve barely blinked, let alone stared into a fishtank for almost a half hour. I plan to do a blog with pics next time.
Try and contain your excitement.
Lately I’ve found myself in this peculiar situation. Not only does this situation annoy me, but it makes me feel like both an idiot, and a mean girl. And really, if there is anything worse than an idiot, it’s a mean idiot.
So what’s the deal, you ask?
Alright, well, Cin’s been trying to set me up with this guy for awhile. “Awhile” here actually meaning “approximately three years.” This guy (hmm, do we need an acronym? I do believe we do…I shall dub him BILL, for Boy I Like Like) and I have hung out a half a dozen times or so…some being business events…some being social ones involving Cin and the crew. I’ve always liked the guy…in a “hey, let’s invite [BILL] over for drinks” kind of way. I liked hanging out with him…I found it easy to talk to him. And yet, it never really clicked over for me. Given, I often saw him while dating other people, and I tend to be a fairly faithful person (even more so while sober). Regardless, I had nothing against him, and I often had to remind Cin, “It’s not that I don’t like him…I do, he’s fun to be around. I just don’t—you know—LIKE him. Yet, now, all of a sudden, I find myself like, liking him. How inconvenient.
This situation is compounded not only by the obvious “I told you so” that I completely deserve, but by the fact that I’m not entirely sure he like, likes me. Which sucks, for a multitude of reasons, but for which I really kind of earned. Serves me right for being all, well, ME about the whole thing.
Still…doesn’t stop me from wanting to actually get something started. And it sucks even worse, because now I’m really scared of turning him off completely—which would have me missing out on a great friendship, never mind any other possibilities. This is me, scared to try anything, because I don’t want to lose what I already have…but I still want more. I think there could be more out there. We are so similar, BILL and I, in so many different ways. The family work thing…the traveling, schooling…are manners and upbringing. So…yeah, basically I think I’m kinda effed, no matter how you slice it.
Well, back to things of the fantastic variety, I’ve recently had several run-ins with Rock Band. I find myself enjoying it more, each time I do it. I’ve tried the drumming, but mostly I just do the singing because that’s my thing. Lowest score so far on the mike? 95%! I totally rock! \m/
Another fun thing, somewhat involving percentages: I do believe I saw Ellen Page at the Mall the other day. About 92% sure, actually. I literally was about half-a-heartbeat from running over and telling her my extreme love of all things Juno, Canadian, and brunette. (She’s also a February 20s baby. Meaning, of course, that she was born somewhere between 2/20 and 2/29, just like yours truly.) Thankfully, I got myself under control in time to think: 1. Perhaps Ellen Page might not desire me jumping up and down in front of her and screaming in the high-pitch tones usually reserved for dog whistles. 2. Ellen Page is suuuuuper thin. I mean, clearly, she’s an actress, but, after seeing her in nothing but gym clothes in Smart People, I’m almost thinking she might be on that “no eating” diet. 3. She was in a group of no less than four equally pretty, but alarmingly grumpy looking females. I’ll admit it, I was scared of getting clawed—whether or not I was right.
Okay folks, I think that’s all for tonight. Love!
Quote of the Moment: “When I first read: ‘besides the colouring, he's waaaay "off-type" for me’ I thought you meant coloring, like with crayons, in a coloring book. I was like, well that's an odd similarity between all the guys you've dated.”
Soundtrack of the Moment: Paramore, Let the Flames Begin
TV/Movie Quote: Family Guy: “Anyone caught saying 'irregardless,' 'all of the sudden,' or 'a whole nother,' shall report to a work camp!”