Balance

I’m a Catholic…at least, that’s how I classify myself whenever I have to fill out a census. I follow the basic teachings, but I tend to kinda ignore the ones I think are unfair or contradictory. I believe in the whole “Living and acting in the ways of Christ” thing, as opposed to the whole—you know, throwing bibles and spewing hellfire thing. I have very good friends who are atheists. They are some of the most amazing people I know; kind, and often good to a fault.

I should probably cut in here and say that, really, this blog isn’t about religion. I’m just trying to set the background for what I really want to say. With that in mind, I should probably just come out and say it, hu?

Right, well, despite my religious classification, there are a few things I borrow from other religions. Karma, is by far one of my favorite concepts. It’s the idea of balance, of their being a ying to every yang, of separate but equal… I like to think that for every bad there is good to follow…for every hardship, we are graced with ease. It makes the bad times a little bit softer, just to remember that without those really bad times as a foil, we’d never have a clear picture of how wonderful the really good times are.

Take this past weekend...

I invited a bunch of people over for a little social gathering at my place. The whole point of the thing was really just an excuse to hang out with BILL, but I wanted to have some people by too. Show off the place after the spring cleaning and what not. I invited a couple of co-workers, but two of them had baby issues (one of them actually gave birth to one…the other was dealing with an illness), and the other lives on the other side of the world from me and decided she didn’t want to do the drive alone. It ended up being me, BILL, the Cuz and her boy.

Of course, the more I drink, the less I’m concerned about my actions around BILL, which is turning me into a major girl. All huggy and smoochy and ridiculous. I must learn to watch my asinine behavior around him. Or…maybe not, if Juno’s dad has the right idea. [Find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, or what have you. The right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.]

*sigh*

Anywoddle, getting back to the karma, the ‘Cuz and the boy sort of get into this weird little freakout. No, let me rephrase. The ‘Cuz’s boy kinda gets into this weird little freakout. He’s making a big deal about wanting to leave, and how the ‘Cuz is making him stay…but then also how he doesn’t want to leave. Drama on stage is one thing, but I’m notsomuch of the fan of it going on in my living room. (Unless of course we’re doing an all-drunk rendition of, say, Cloverfield)

BILL speaks to the ‘Cuz’s boy, and I try to work things out with the ‘Cuz. Eventually, they end up leaving and I think everything is okay. Again, nosomuch. After spending a really nice, chill day with BILL, I get the call from the ‘Cuz. Apparently the night ended with (literal) fighting, and jail time. She asks if I’ll be willing to testify to the state of the minds before they left. I go to bed wishing I had the foresight to see all of that coming. Almost pissed off at myself that I didn’t.

Because I kinda feel like I would have noticed…had I not been so distracted by my own happiness.

And here we go, back to the whole me trying to sabotage any and all chances of happiness for myself. I’m screwed regardless, really, because I’m to the point now where I’ll take BILL however I can get him…and if this keeps going like this, the guy’s going to be able to break my heart.

Thanks Karma.


Quote of the Moment:
A: So, what’s up, Kid?
Ms.I: I’m having this major dilemma.
A: [distracted] Oh?
Ms.I: I like this boy.
A: Congrats, Kid…but that’s usually a good thing.
Ms.I: No. I like this guy. Like, how a normal person would.
A: Oh! Well, my God! How did this happen?!
Ms.I: If I knew, I would have stopped it, obviously. [hesitantly] And you know him.
A: It’s not…?
Ms.I: Ew! No. Remember, when you were up here…?
A: [laughing hysterically] I LOVE it when I’m right. I should rule the world.
Ms.I: Right, well, good luck with that. Um…by the way, are you okay? You seem kinda…I donno, punchy?
A: I’ve gotten to the point were things are so bad I either have to laugh or cut something.

Soundtrack of the Moment: Katy Perry, I Kissed a Girl
TV/Movie Quote: Ever After: “I feel as if my skin is the only thing keeping me from going everywhere at once.”