Hesh. Seriously, what else is there to say? Hesh.
The past few weeks have been all over the freaken place. I had family/holiday time, heartbreaking/friendship time, and just plain random acts of WTF?. I don’t want to give off the impression that it was all bad, because that’s really not true at all. I had some really, really great days. I also had some of the hardest days of my life.
I did get the opportunity to hook up (via telephone) with Val. It’s got to be almost a year since we talked, and it was so great to just ramble for a few hours—although the stuff going on in her life seems no picnic either. I also got a completely unexpected apology from an even more unexpected source. Honestly, it was like getting birthday cake in June. Like, thanks man…my birthday’s in February, but who turns down cake?! Not I!
Something that I’ve said a million times to various parties, is all of the bad stuff would have killed me, if I was still unhappily working at Nailor. I truly believe that I would be ready to knock myself out with various pharmaceuticals for a couple of weeks if I wasn’t in such a good place in and of myself. So…yeah, thanks to school and Chapters and everyone for making me ready to deal with—if not quite handle—all of the bad.
Every day is better, although I feel like nothing will ever be the same again. And I’m starting to be okay with that. Moving on.
Anyone who’s read anything I’ve ever written, knows I have a bit of a thing for ravens. This came about during my summer in London…when I spent a week in a hotel right by the tower and used to go there a lot. I was shocked to find out that raven’s weren’t just the British version of a crow, but GIGANTIC black birds. Seriously, some of them looked like skinny black chickens. I became a little fixated on them, and the legends surrounding them. So…imagine my momentary freak-out when I spotted this:
I must constantly remind myself that I cannot cover my body in tattoos. (Cannot being more of a realistic thing, rather than a logistics thing. Clearly I COULD...it's really about whether or not I SHOULD.) The above picture totally reneges on all of that. Now, the only thing that stopped me from instantly running out and getting started on my new ink, is the fact that the ravens are clearly painted on. Now that, I feel like I could pull off. I’m thinking my birthday, and a backless black dress. If only I knew someone who was big into body painting. Well, let me rephrase…if I only knew someone who was a body painter who wouldn’t expect sex in exchange for services.
As far as my birthday goes, I’m still uncertain about details. I may be going to Montréal, I may just end up doing the bottle service thing downtown. Before Xmas, I was all about doing it up big. Now I just feel like being with people that matter to me, and worrying about the rest later. Maybe when people stop assuming I’m under 18, I’ll start worrying about my age...then again, my champagne birthday will only happen once.
Er...of course, it’s not all about me. :p
Except when it is...like yesterday, for instance. MGFM and I went to go see a movie together. I played a good little fruit fly and dressed up for the event. I also brought my Zune. MGFM has this hilarious habit of listening to my most recent playlists and falling in love with one song or another. He also enjoys finding songs that remind him of me. For forever, it was Nickleback’s "Next Contestant". He cracked himself up with that one. Now it’s “Bad Girlfriend” by Theory of a Deadman. Instead of “My girlfriend’s a dick magnet,” MGFM screams out the lyrics as “My BEST FRIEND’s a dick magnet!”
And he wonders why none of his relationships like us hanging out. ;)
Before I sign off, I’d just like to give thanks to the godsend (Godsends?) that are my friendships. Because of you guys, I managed to hang onto what little I have left of my sanity. For that I am eternally grateful. I just hope that I’m at least half as good a friend to you…
Wishing everyone all the best in life, love, and luck for 2009!
Quote of the Moment: "He doesn’t like it when I go out with you, because he thinks that we’ll pick up boys together. You’re too cute, he’d rather me go out with one of my ugly friends…because…you know, ugly doesn’t attract people.”
Soundtrack of the Moment: Theory of a Deadman, “Bad Girlfriend”
TV/Movie Quotes: Dirty Driving: Thundercars of Indiana: [Announcer, over the PA system] I just want to thank you all for patronizing us today.